Addicted to Work

What would stop your partner from going to work?
    1) A sore throat
    2) A raging fever
    3) Nothing short of death!

If you're married to a man who's married to his job, your relationship could be in big trouble. A recent study found four out of 10 men believe their job has a negative effect on their sex lives. But it's not just men who suffer from burnout blues. Half of working women reported that business pressures were taking the sizzle out of their sex lives. Post-work tiredness, depleted energy, stress and lack of time were cited as major causes of loss of libido. Once the working day is finally over many people are still reluctant to go to bed, for sleep or anything else. There's always the temptation to stay up late, flicking TV channels, surfing the Internet, trying to shake off the tension of the day. Research shows that late or irregular bedtimes upset the body clock, leading to heart disease and chronic fatigue. And poor health is a big passion-killer.

Ten signs of a workaholic

·       You get more excited about work then anything else.

·        You work or read during meals.

·        You are competitive.

·        You regularly work through lunch.

·        Your spouse complains about your long working hours.

·        You have difficulty delegating work.

·        You cancel family events and social dates to meet deadlines.

·        You work more than 45 hours a week

·        You have lost contact with friends.

Facing facts

Given the widespread approval they get, it's much harder for workaholics to accept they have a problem and need to change. If your spouse denies this, there is nothing you can do but get on with your own life, and find other ways to meet your emotional needs.

A respectable addiction     

Workaholics put too much time and effort into work and too little into other areas of their lives, including relationships. If you're married to a workaholic, you probably feel the same helplessness and frustration as a person who lives with an alcoholic or drug addict. Unfortunately, you won't get as much sympathy. Workaholism is one addiction that is applauded in our society - it's a respectable addiction.

Signal your needs

You may have to be the one who signals the danger, like the canaries sent down mine shafts to warn miners if oxygen was getting scarce. Explain calmly to your partner that marriage means you rely on him or her for certain intimate needs (love, sex, companionship) that you have agreed not to seek elsewhere. If your spouse's mind is almost always on work, you are left in an emotional vacuum with no-one to turn to. You need your partner and, whether they recognise it or not, they need you. Sadly, many workaholics have to lose everything before they accept that there is a serious problem.

Body breaks

Once the workaholic is prepared to change, start with lifestyle changes. Schedule time for the three basics: eating, sleeping and exercising. Have regular healthy meal breaks, not fast food on the run. No more working or reading during meals. Go to bed at the same time every night. Get enough sleep and exercise.

Less is more

Work half to one hour less each day. Once a month, take an early mark or half a day off and do something pleasurable. Stop taking work home. Set sensible limits on your workload - prioritise, delegate and prune. Most importantly, learn to say "No".

Have some fun

What do other people do when they are not working? They pursue interests outside of work, enjoy hobbies and see friends. It's time to leave the safety of the structured working world and enjoy all the surprises and uncertainties of friendships again.
You may have to reintroduce yourself to friends who've fallen by the wayside. See those who are fun and don't want to talk about work. Write regular "friend time" into your diary each week and don't cancel it.

Healing time

Aim for a minimum of 30 minutes of "catch up and connect" time per day with your lover. You might make plans, discuss problems or just enjoy a quiet chat. Make dates for nights out together every month. Take time off together- an afternoon, morning or a long weekend with no planned activities - to allow for spontaneity and creativity.